Effective Strategies for Communicating with Aging Loved Ones
Kristin Park, M.S., CCC-SLP
When it comes to family, getting your point across and having your opinion heard can sometimes be a challenge. Many families experience a communication breakdown at some point or another. But what can we do about the frustration and difficulties that so often arise when communicating with aging loved ones? The following information comes from a variety of online sources, referenced at the end of this blog.
LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR ELDERLY PARENT IS SAYING
Really listen to what your elder is saying. Don’t interrupt them or feel the urge to fill periods of silence that often occur during conversations. A brief pause could mean your family member is contemplating a response and thinking through the conversation and how to reply. Listening does go both ways, though, so check in to determine that the person is hearing what you say, too.
It Helps To Ask Good Questions
If your parents are reflecting on an experience or sharing a memory, try to help them gain more understanding of the experience by asking open-ended questions. For example, if your mom remembers a trip with a beloved sister, ask, “What was your relationship with Aunt Susanna like?” Good questions will help facilitate your parents’ life review process.
SPEAK DISTINCTLY
Some older adults do not like to admit that they are hard of hearing or have trouble understanding the conversation around them. Remain calm and talk in a gentle, matterof-fact way. Speak louder, if necessary, but do not shout. Make sure to enunciate clearly and avoid mumbling and talking too quickly. Focus on one idea at a time, and keep sentences short and simple. If your loved one still isn’t grasping what you are saying, try phrasing it differently and using different words.
But Don’t Be Condescending
Make sure your attempt to “turn up the volume” and slow down your speech pattern doesn’t come across as condescending. Even if your parent suffers from dementia or extreme hearing loss, don’t speak to them as if they are a child. Being patronizing is a surefire way to start an argument.
PICK YOUR BATTLES
Many seniors face growing challenges as they age, including mobility limitations, decreased stamina, loneliness and memory problems. While your goal is to ensure their wellbeing, tackling every single issue at once can be frustrating and embarrassing for an elder. Instead, try to prioritize the issues you want to address and celebrate small victories one at a time.
And Remember To Laugh When You Can!
Laughter really is the best medicine. Humorous moments often arise, even in the most difficult and stressful caregiving situations. Be open to the opportunity to lighten things up and take things a little less seriously. A shared laugh can ease tension and build closeness with your loved ones. However, be sure to laugh with your family members and not at their expense. While this list is certainly not exhaustive, it is a good place to start when reframing the way we communicate with our aging loved ones. It’s important to establish a good relationship with our elders in order to help them get the best care and live the best life they can in their remaining years. A good communicative relationship takes practice, patience, and perseverance!
Sources
Robinson, T. E., White, G., & Houchins, J. C. (2006, September 01). Improving
Communication With Older Patients: Tips From the Literature. Retrieved July 29, 2019,
from https://www.aafp.org/fpm/2006/0900/p73.html
Sollitto, M. (2017, October 20). 7 Techniques for Better Communication with
Seniors. July 29, 2019, from https://www.agingcare.com/articles/communicationtechniques-to-deal-with-elderly-parents-138 454.htm
Matthiessen. (2009, May 06). Improve Elderly Communication: Demystifying Your
Aging Parents’ New Stage of Life. Retrieved July 29, 2019, from
https://www.caring.com/articles/elderly-communication
